Blue cheese VS Buffy
by Spikesgal248
Summary: Totally crazy and stupid story. Buffy and blue cheese crossover.Read might make you laugh and please R and R. Lot of swearing..


_**I was really hyper and stuff so its supposed to be funny, it's crazy and the ending really doesn't make sense but hey my mates wanted me to put it up so plesae review! hehe **_

**Only Spike appears to see it..is he dillusional?**

Buffy looked at Spike sighing, "You really expect me to believe this? It's like the worst excuse you've EVER came up with."

Spike looked agitated and his voice showed frustration, "Buffy! I'm telling you. It was horrible and scary we HAVE to get out of here!"

"Why or the blue cheese will eat us? Even if I believed you: we eat blue cheese not the other way around." she rolled her eyes, "It's like our job description."

Spike turned his back on her, "Fine! But I swear to Satan! If it tries to kill you no way am I helping your ignorant butt out."

"Whatever," Buffy said walking outside and killing the blue cheese.

The end

Nah am just fucking with you let's continue, Buffy walked out of Spike's crypt, annoyed, clearly Spike had drank wayyyy too much!

Buffy walked to the Magic Box and sighed.

Willow, Anya, Tara and Giles looked up as she entered.

"What's wring?" Willow asked concerned for her recently deceased friend.

"Wring?" Buffy asked, wrinkling her nose, "Was there like some sort of new lingo created when I was gone?" she asked puzzled.

Willow looked at her snottily, "Sorry miss perfect I meant wrong... just a typo, what's wrong?"

"Think Spike's on drugs, he was talking about blue cheese and killing us and a bunch of other stuff..."

Anya cut Buffy off, "Oh yeah that! Forgot to tell ya, the world's gunna end again..cheese has been working on this longer than there has been the Fist Evil."

"Fist evil?" Buffy asked raising a brow.

Anya sighed and Willow looked appalled.

"God, Buffy, what happened? You never used to care about silly little mistakes."

Buffy ignored Willow, "You mean it's true?" she asked Anya shocked.

"Yeah," Anya said, "It's really not that big a shock a mean it stinks like mad and its all holey and stuff."

"Yeah but stil..." Buffy said.

"Hah!" Willow said, "Lil miss perfect ain't so perfect after all!"

"Will, shut up this is important."

Willow went back to reading, having no intention of helping Buffy after that.

"We have a whole book on it," Anya said sniffing alon the shelf.

"What the heck you doing?" Buffy asked.

"You smell it before you see it," Anya said pulling out a pink book with a banana on the front off the shelf and handing it to Buffy, "Here you go."

Buffy flicked through the book, "Wow this is like so weird, freaky, mystical, amazing and scary!" she said looking at one passage:

_Blue cheese has been around forever and is about to take over your life! OK, so maybe not today or even in a thousand years but it is pretty powerful stuff. It's been around sine sometime long before the late J.C. and the Big T. stuff and way before the first evil so its had a lot of time to plan. Working in factories late at night to provide people with cool pink banana belts, people have been buying them oblivious to the real power they hold: after over 1039283092348903480392423948 are bought the world will prevail to evil._

Buffy blinked, amazed. OK a magic book but the number count kept moving down and this blue cheese didn't seem something to mess with. She read on:

_The only way to fight this is to find the founder of cheese, however it's not as simple as that. After finding out her mistake - Damn! wasn't supposed to give you any clues. OK so you know its a girl, after her mistake she went into the Musli Protection act and noone knows her true identity. Good luck!_

Buffy was almost in tears no way could she fight this, she looked at Anya, "I'm borrowing this!" she walked out.

Buffy sat at home, engrossed in the book which seemed to be adding things every two minutes. She looked at the most recent entry:

_All you need is a little time_

_maybe a little sign from some wine,_

_Stuff away in a home so you,_

_Full of small people, a little too blue._

Buffy was confused for a while then ran downstairs and looked at her wine bottles. She had over 5 different kinds.. where was she to start! She looked at them all what did they all have in common: Bottle caps!

Buffy thought for a moment. "I've got it!" she screamed, "Bottle cap, blue, IRN BRU!" She ran out her door, starting her adventures of Buffy in fantasyland unaware of the dangers and wrong turns she was about to face.

Buffy walked into the Irn Bru factory, a smug look on her face, she pinned the nearest guy to a conveyer belt letting him slide along for a bit, "Tell me where you boss is!"

He laughed, "Dude two mins! This is fun!"

Buffy rolled her eyes and took him off throwing him at the nearest stack of Irn Bru bottles, "Where is he?"

"Chill dude! WHat's you problem?" he asked choking a little, "Down the hall and to the left."

Buffy walked through the double doors then to the right. She walked into a brick wall then moaned, "Sheesh! Left right same bloody difference," she muttered, going left. She walked into the Boss's office without chapping, "OK dude know your little secret and I'm telling you it ain't gunna work!"

"Damn!" the guy screaming twirling his chair, "Don't tell anyone, the big guy will kill us."

"I'm gunna kill you if you don't tell me where the Blue Cheese is and how I can get rid of it!"

He laughed at her, "God I thought I was high on LSD but fuck knows what you've been taking girl!"

She looked embarrased, clearly not the right thing, she walkde home feeling like a failure.

When she got home she looked at the labels of the bottles and prayed for a sign.  
Just as she got up off her kness, it hit her: literally. The shelf above her head fell down and a teletubby toy, a blue one ( fuck knows why Buffy had a teletubbies toy or why it was blue... blue xheese curse?)

"Ow!" Buffy said, lookign at it, "Blue, small people," she gasped, lost in ecstasy, "I've got it! We have to go to teletubby land," she paused, Was there actually a teletubby land?

A blue (sigh yeah too much blue) portal opened up, Buffy winced and hen ran through it before she could change her mind, she gasped at what she saw: THE TELETUBBIES!  
"PO!" Buffy yelled, she/he/possibly he and she had been Buffy's favourite teletubby since she could remember, sadly Po didn't feel the same.  
"Intruder! Everyone get out your guns!"

"Wait!" Buffy screamed, almost crying, "How could you do this to me, PO?"

Po laughed, "MWUAHAHAHA, guns down! OK small fry what you wantin'?" It asked Buffy.  
"I'm on a quest to stop the blue cheese," Buffy wuivered at its name, Po's face was aghast, "It said full of small people, a little too blue."  
"Are you colour bind? Your looking for the smurfs but you can only get there after fulfilling three required qusets."  
Buffy took a deep breath, "I think I can do it, show me where to go."  
Po took Buffy to another blue portal (shut the fuck up I like blue OK? Deal with it!)  
"Thanks," Buffy smiled.  
Po looked at her, "Good luck their really hard."  
Buffy looked quizical and disturbed, OHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she said, "You meant the challenges?" she said embarrased and with that she jumped through the blue portal and died (what how else did you think this would end?sighs FINE! she didn't die.. she ended up in the first of her challenges.)  
"OKKKK," Buffy said looking around, "What do I do?"

With that, a duck appeared, "You have to pass the first required."  
Buffy sighed, "Which is?"

The duck raised an eyebrow, "Let's get jiggy!"  
Buffy stepped back, "I'm not into beastiality."  
"Amateur," the duck said, "I meant you have to dance your way to the next level."  
"And this is going to help me how?" Buffy asked, more than a little embarrassed.  
"Well it's pretty easy," The duck started, "See there's only 3 things that scare the blue cheese: Dancing, singing and yuo have to figure out the last one."  
Buffy stopped dancing (what the fuck you mean I didn't say she'd styarted? Do I have eto tell you fucking everything? Your more of an amateur than her! Your a fucking liability)

The duck applauded, "You have passed number 1 now sing."  
Buffy sang and the duck covered its ears, "Fuck you could kill mroe than the blue cheese with that singing. Now I know I said you had to figure the third one otu but I'm going to tell you: it's also scared of being eaten."  
"What?" Buffy looked taken aback, "I am NOT putting that in my mouth!"  
The duck looked at her smirking, "Trust me, we already know you've had worse than that in your mouth."  
Buffy looked shocked but couldn't retort as she was tooken away to smurf land!

Buffy quickly realized that the smurfs were covering for the blue cheese so she decimated all of them then she was face with the leader: the blue cheese.  
She gulped.  
"OK time to die," The blue cheese grinned.  
Buffy put on a brave face then span around started dancing and singing:

"I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name!"

The blue cheese was mortally offended and became weak (yeah we all know what your thinking but I swear she didn't make him weak like that! although after mentioning thwe bit about screamnig his name and hard I can see why you came to that conclusion)  
Buffy then took a deep bite out of it (Once again not like your thinking!)

And it deid just like that Buffy smiled happy again the threat was over and all was happy again (SHUT THE HELL UP YOU COULD NOT HAVE MADE THE ENDING BETTER AND IT WASN'T SHIT! PLUS I STIL H AVE LIKE 4 OR SO WORDS LEFT SO SHUT IT!)

Buffy skipped away towards the flowers and the bright light infested with blue cheese... but what she didn't realize was...  
Turtles are really pink:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O

THE END


End file.
